***Warning: this is the worst piece of shit I've ever written.***

I apologize in advance for the unusual nature of this post. Unlike my previous rants, this one will be of modest length and contain less of my own unique material. Not because I have nothing to say about the topic of choice or that I am experiencing any sort of writer's block, on the contrary, the situation is quite the opposite. Each time I make an attempt to materialize my thoughts on the matter I find the desired end result is far too difficult to achieve. I would like to be able to make a traditional rant appropriate to my usual ability, but this time the subject is of a nature that disallows my rationale to maintain a clear form and four scotch and sodas later I find I have let the text mushroom cloud into a lengthy cacophony of inane scrutiny and ramblings which read like the thoughts of a masochistic maniac clattering for the blood of a society gone mad.

So, like the lazy cunt that I am I included a bunch of links to better portray my thoughts.
Click 'em when you see 'em. Just go with it. Do it for the lulz.

What is this topic that is driving me, the already brutally insane, even more insane?
To sum it up in as few words as I can- the constant emulation of African-American mannerisms by Caucasian adolescents. In even fewer words, white kids acting black.

A.K.A. - "Wiggers."

Being of a duel ethnicity myself, both white and black, this issue has always confounded me to the point of lunacy for as long as I can recall. I have pondered the question time and time again, do white folk here in America so feel the need to mimic the gesticulations of other cultures to fill the void left by their own lack of a sense of ethnic identity as to act like a farcical embarrassment in front of others just to gain approval from peers? Does the same problem exist in other countries? Am I the only one who believes that it IS a problem? I'm sure if he were alive today Sigmund Freud would spend the remainder of his years and the entirety of his genius trying to elucidate the theory of why this phenomenon exists, but to no avail. He would lay confounded on his deathbed, surrounded by the empirical evidence of his research, consisting of Tivoed shows from MTV, Eminem CDs and secret surveillance footage of pubescent children from Middle-American wearing G-Unit hats with straight-as-the-crow-flies brims, NBA throwback jerseys and baggy jeans emblazoned with the FUBU logo whilst standing in front of their mom's single wide trailer listening to Lil' Wayne on their iPods, smoking menthols, drinking Crunk Juice, cursing every other word, flipping gang signs like they're from Compton and "hollerin' at sho'ties passin' tru da hood in da tree one fou' like it ain't no thang, fo' shizzle son."

Personally I don't think there is anything glamorous about acting "ghetto," let alone being from one. My parents moved from the downtown projects to the North-side suburbs when I was about 5, around the time my sister was born, and if you ever go to that old neighborhood tell the people there that Jamoke and his entire family say we're glad we got the fuck out.

That place was totally shithouse straight up and down like 6 o'clock.

I must ask, does one truely get satisfaction from being refered to as a wigger? Don't people realize just how ignorant they sound when they use the N-word? Such behavior does nothing but invite shame upon yourself and serves to bring down an otherwise intellectual society as a whole, regardless of the capacity of the intended use of the word. Unless it's genuinely fucking hilarious. Otherwise, just find a different or unique way of expressing a racial slur. It can lighten the blow.

(Hehehe, did you hear that one guy say, "nigwiches?" Now that's shitfaced.)

I need to stop here before this becomes an indecipherable tirade once more. This can all be summed up in less than words. I'll let the picture below do the talking.

Just to clarify, I don't hate anyone for the color of their skin. I may be a bitter, rotten, foul-mouthed asshole with a grudge against humanity, a 30 cigarette a day habit and a drinking problem, but at least racism is one flaw I can leave off the résumé. I still believe that there's nothing wrong with a good ol' fashioned stereotype here and there, 'tis but all in good fun. Besides, I have more intelligent criteria for distributing my antipathy, however, I must say sometimes you white kids do drive me nucking futs.

We can co-exist peacefully without having to get caught up with an illogical need to redefine our personas with indecorous, aberrant behavior. Act how you want, but do it with respect for yourself. Be yourself, but take time to learn how to do it with dignity. You will find that color doesn't make a difference and thusly gain acceptance for who you really are intrinsically.

Just as long as you're not a total fag.

Seriously Chris, fucking die of AIDS already.

-J.